Xander Who
by tohonomike
Summary: YAHF - An Old Friend turns out to have a new face. Luckily his 'old' friendscome looking for him before he can get Sunnydale into too much trouble.
1. Chapter 1

The Doctor is Back Author: Tohonomike Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners...it will start off with the Joss/ME characters but also Doctor Who 

A very short story that wouldn't go away after watching Chris Eccleston's last performance as The Doctor.

**October 31****st****, 1997**

The red-head had called him Xander, and she seemed nice enough—especially as he recalled growing up with her for the last dozen or so years. And his old faithful suit coat didn't fit comfortably anymore—maybe next time he saw Rose she'd help him shop.

'Xander?' he thought to himself. 'I can't really remember having an actual name in ages, and that's saying something. Hmm, I suppose with even my mentality using a British accent I shouldn't tease Rupert about his.' He paused for a moment and his face showed a mischievous smile, "But what would be the fun in that?"

"The fun in what, Xander? And stop with the British accent, we have to find Buffy and figure out what's going on!"

"But Willow, Halloween's what's going on and I've gotten all of my memories back, including the fact that my parents aren't my parents and they really did find me alongside the road like they complain when they've 'ad one too many."

Willow froze in shock at the flippant attitude toward the situation she'd sometimes tried not too notice on his account, but which he now flouted. I meant something must be wrong with Xander too. She watched as he pulled out the strange silver air gauge he'd carried around since the first day she'd met him. But this time, it extended and lit up as he studied it.

"Hello," he smiled and looked at her. He moved his hand and it passed through her. "You're a spirit, Wills. How'd that happen?"

The girl moved back in shock, gasping unnecessarily. 'Xander' laughed and slapped his thigh in realization.

"Of course! You dressed as a ghost, and now are one! And I, I went as a man with amnesia," he slowed and nodded. "And since the fake head bandage fell away as I was dropping to the ground…the real amnesiac…me, well I guess I got myself back. Huh?"

"What?" Willow asked in confusion, only to be cut off by a familiar-sounding scream nearby. "It's Buffy! We have to help her!"

The Doctor ran after the ghost girl, and a moment later a girl in a red dress ran by. The man stepped out, and quickly struck key nerve points on the monster-looking little humans. The small aggressors temporarily unable to move, the Doctor turned to find an apparently-changed Buffy insulting the class-level of Willow.

"Enough," he directed shortly at her. "We must get you safely to Rupert before any more attackers show up, Princess."

She protested loudly but he ignored her and as they marched toward the school, he turned to Willow.

"Wills, please scout ahead for us so we don't run into any trouble; we'll be right behind you."

Fifteen minutes later, and Xander escorted Buffy through the door, passing her off to the librarian.

"Lady Elizabeth, this is Rupert Giles, he'll be looking after you," he introduced, and even with Willow's hurried explanation the young man's accent amazed him. As he ignored the young woman's profuse thanks for replacing the ruffian, he watched as Xander stepped right over the Hellmouth with a small silver wand.

"Xander, what are you doing?" he asked as the end flashed down, lit up a ten-foot-radius around the lad, and instantly faded. "And what the bl—what was that?"

The eyes that met his were older but without malice, and something about what Willow had ranted about made him realize this wasn't the 'Xander' they knew. Especially since this person's posture was far superior.

"Who are you?"

"Didn't Willow tell you? I'm me."

Willow looked confused, and Xander recalled he hadn't actually told her anything, as it was Buffy he'd given his 'title.' Lady Elizabeth spoke up.

"He's 'The Doctor'—that's how he introduced himself."

Giles looked up at the capital letters, but knew it couldn't be, "Doctor Who?"

Xander smiled, "I get that a lot, I do. But you can still call me Xander, Giles. You don't have to call me 'The Doctor' like everyone else."

"The spell turned you into—"

"No. I AM. The spell, whatever it was, merely provided me with all of my memories."

"H-how?"

"Now that's quite a story, but basically I fell out of TARDIS while still changing, and temporal transitions ARE tricky, so I ended up a wee boy without a clue. I'm guessing the energies of the Hellmouth here are what kept me from fully regenerating and instead 'growing up.'"

"So what was that you did over the Hellmouth?"

"I sent a temporal beacon to the TARDIS—I just hope Rose or Jack find me. I think I made a promise to Rose's mum to keep her safe and I can't manage that if we're not together, can I?"

At that moment, as if on cue, a strange whining, vibrating type of noise grew loud somewhere outside the building. Xander beamed with delight and the others followed him outside. While he seemed to pay more attention to the large green phone booth careening off the distant clock tower (which sent the spire atop the Mayoral limousine as it headed to take his honor to the W&H party in LA), they others noticed Angel and Cordelia running from Spike and several real vampires. Xander stepped forward and drew out his small silver device as in the distant an exploding gas main (a result of the spire falling) hurled large chunks of asphalt into all directions—one in the direction of a new costume shop.

A green beam seemed to hold the vampires in place for a few extra seconds, Cordelia not stopping for even a moment. The large chunk of asphalt passed through the upper wall of the costume shop and obliterated a statue of Janus. The TARDIS came down hard on ALL of the vampires as those magically changed except for Xander fell to the ground. Giles looked on, stunned, as Angel, William the Bloody and several minions were destroyed by the police phone box.

Buffy looked up in confusion, not yet realizing the end of her almost-boyfriend. Willow had disappeared with the passing of the spell. And Xander smiled as he stepped toward the TARDIS. A twenty-something pseudo-blonde young woman in red sweats, a bit on the fleshy side, bounded out of the TARDIS, a dark-haired man with something of a dancer's physique lithely moving in her wake.

"Rose! Jack! You found me!" a delighted Xander greeted, putting them off as they hadn't seen him change to his new form. He twirled around in his drab suit, "It's me! I turned all glowy and fell out the TARDIS? Remember I told you I'd probably come back different?!"

Rose nodded, "You did, but I thought you wanted your hair to be a ginger color?"

"Can't have everything," he smiled and twirled again. "So what do you think? Am a I handsome? Sexy?"

Jack shook his head and stepped forward as the three proceeded to share an exuberant group hug and shared kisses, "So Doc, now that the Daleks are gone and you're all healed, what now?"

Buffy felt a little jealous as the three kissed, and was confused when Jack grabbed Xander and kissed him as well! And Xander laughed instead of freaking! She froze.

"Now I introduce you to other of my friends before we go looking for Willow. Captain Jack, Rose Tyler, this is Buffy Summers who kills vampires, Rupert Giles who assists her in this and has been an excellent mentor while I've been in human exile, and this is Miss Cordelia Chase, too young for you Jack, but an excellent leader of cheers nonetheless. Everyone, my boon companions through Time and Space, Captain Jack and Miss Rose."

The confused Sunnydale residents exchanged handshakes with the new arrivals, even Cordelia, who of course demanded to know what was going on.

"Well, Cordelia, I'm an alien Time Lord that seems to save the world a lot with the all-important help of my good friends here."

"Well, duh? What's new, Doofus? I meant, your friends showing up got my costume all dirty…I'm so not giving up my deposit."

Xander smiled in delight—and had an unlikely but amusing thought.

"How about to make it up, you join us for a few weeks, Cor? See worlds and shopping malls not yet built, and eventually we'll get you home, maybe even by midnight if you're good, Pumpkin."

"W-wait," Giles began, only to be interrupted by Cordelia.

"Didn't you hear him, Book Guy? Time and Space. Let's get going, Doctor Doofus, and remember—this cruise is all expenses paid!"

Laughing at the true oddity of it all, Rose, Jack and The Doctor followed Miss Chase into the TARDIS, leaving two still-overwhelmed demon fighters behind.

The whirling stopped, but such was the difficult reentry that the asphalt had smelted over the manhole cover through which Spike and Angel had lunged into and been smashed down. Below, two broken but barely-extant vampires were slowly sloshed along in the current of the sewer for parts of the underground unknown.

THE END


	2. Chapter 2

The three friends laughed giddily as they returned to TARDIS, the fourth, Cordelia, ordering Captain Jack to lend her his coat so she could cover up just a bit as they entered the vessel.

"Hmm, looks like that De Laurentis' Dune movie…" Cordelia sighed. "But it's better than those shirts you sometimes wear."

The Doctor actually showed surprise, "Your first remark or question wasn't about how much bigger inside it is than outside?"

"Duh, much? To go anyway longer than five minutes, it'd have to be, Mr. Time and Space."

"If you insist on titles, Doctor, or Time Lord, are more accurate, Miss Chase."

"Miss Chase?" Cordelia reacted with a little surprise as she finished circumnavigating the interior of the immediate vessel. "Why so formal after all these years, Xander?"

"Xander?" he mused. He turned to Jack and Rose, "My name for many years. So? What you think?"

"I don't think it suits you," Rose considered, unsure about this latest addition to the group, but glad to have everything back to normal-for-them. "Maybe…Alex?"

Captain Jack Harkness nodded in agreement, "Alex is much stronger if you want a name, but Xander kinda suits the crazy in you."

"Excellent, Jack!" the restored Time Lord smiled as he booted up the TARDIS. "If I need a real name…Doctor Alex Xander, at your service."

Cordelia snickered, "You're still you."

"I am indeed, or, indeed I am," he smiled as the vessel made its usual noises of operation. Rose wasn't quite sure about the different-looking bloke who seemed to be her Doctor. But his madness about it all assured her.

"Where to, Doctor?"

"Barcelona, of course! Weren't we just talking about that?"

"For us, yeah, but for you?" Rose ventured with a smile. He looked different but his crazy embrace of TARDIS travel remained a constant. He also looked rather handsome.

"The city in Spain?" Cordelia asked, suddenly not as impressed with his space-time capability.

"The planet!" Rose smiled—glad someone else could be the 'straight man' in the comedy troupe. "Years in our future, Cordelia!"

The Doctor flipped a switch, and 40s big band dance music began to play. The Doctor smiled as Jack and Rose began to dance. He turned to Cordelia.

"Miss Chase, I've purposely told TARDIS to take her time getting us there, so if I might have the pleasure of this dance?"

Cordelia smiled. Maybe the trip wouldn't be a total loss, even if they ended up at the city and not the planet.

"Just a dance…hmm, and shopping later."

"Good plan, Cordelia!" Rose enthused as Jack dipped her. Queen C beamed in appreciation that someone valued shopping in spite of the sweats the girl currently insisted on wearing.


End file.
